"Your beginning doesn't determing your ending. We'll start from somewhere it's up to you where you want to be."
We always know who we are better than anyone else. We know what we are capable of better than anyone else. And we know He, our Rabb knows better than ourselves.
Tonight I review my first year goals. I did outline my first year goals and I did achieve half of them but unfortunately none of them were academic-related. This gives me a second thought towards my capabalities and I began to doubt myself yet again. Because I can't help but not being able to balance my study life anymore ever since I got active in other co-curricular aspects. I am honestly not blaming anyone except of myself for not being able to focus on my studies when I was supposed to.
I found it hard for me to manage events and doing my computer science at the same time. Computer science is already hard, managing events is harder so I, basically is giving myself a hard time. Lol @ myself.
I must admit that managing events, socialize with many people are so much fun. But that doesn't mean anything to my studies. Which I hate. Damn it. I lost people that used to frequently remind me to study. Like my roommates, studymates, classmates and lecturers in matriculation.
Uni life is completely 360 degrees different, everything is on our own decision like who cares if you are going to snore for 12 or even 24 hours? My roommates back in matric won't even let me, at least they'll make sure I wake up. Sad is acknowledging being this sad and having regrets wouldn't even change a thing so yeah.....
Thankfully, there's still me inside me and my family, for the constant reminders and some nice people in my life..all with the will of Allah.