My pov: toxic people

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When people started talking about toxic people in their life, here and there, did they ever wonder if they were putting the right blame or weren't them the toxic one?

We can put all the blames on anyone if we want. But ask our heart about what lies inside. Is it really them? Or us? Ourselves.

There is no one in this world that we're capable of changing but ourselves. We can change ourselves in order to change the world, because we're part of it.

However, the changing requires risks. No one will notice how better you've already become but they will point out the changes they see within you as if you were born to stay the same.

If for instance today you did a good cooking but the next week you produced an even greater cooking. "Wow, you changed a lot! You didn't even know how much salts a cooking needed before this." They said.

If for example today you speak a good english with zero grammar errors but the next day you did terrible in your english test. "Wow, I thought you were that excellent in English." You're treated as if perfection is what you're good at and misatkes are just horrible that once you commit them meaning you're a product of failure.

Stop labelling people as toxic.

They are not as toxic as your mind says.

Nope, they aren't that good either.

They are just human beings just like us. Making end meets to life. Everyday is a try and error. Living life according to what we think is right. Etc etc.

If they're giving you problems, either you talk to them or you keep quiet.

Because just like I mentioned, we can never change a person but oursleves.

If you don't see them as a potential changer, just leave them alone and narrow the focus more towards what you can improve within you. For in the end, you're the hero of your own world.

Life is simple. It's either you make way or you don't. There is no such things as toxic people. There are only you and the rest of the human beings.

It's whether they're doing great but you're doing greater or in some particular ways, they're better than you.

Be good or be better. See good or see better.

// ---
Sebab kalau kita label betapa toksiknya seseorang manusia itu, tak pernah ke kita sedar betapa toksiknya kita dalam hidup orang lain? Jika ada manusia toksik dalam dunia ini, maka kita juga toksik. Kerana label 'toksik' itu kalau kita perhatikan adalah label yang kita cipta untuk manusia yang tak seiring dengan cara kita. Cara kita berfikir, berpakaian, bercakap dan sebagainya. Kalau kita tak suka cara dia, terus kita katakan dia toksik. Maka, kita juga toksik dalam hidup orang lain kerana tak semua orang suka cara kita.

Itu hanya pandangan saya semata-mata, based on my readings. Apa yang I baca? Not those from postings on socmed la because if I say my readings bersumberkan those things, of course my pov is weak. But anyway, everyone holds a different view. You can have your own tho.

Thanks for reading, xoxo. 
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Went 12 Days Hiatus From Not Posting On Social Media

A journey on social media could have been so much dull without us cooperating and involving with the virtual community.

And at some point, we will realise that somehow it hurts us to be fully aware that we often have the plethora urge to always fit in non-stoppingly. To make it worse, our reality even dissapears the moment we see the screen.

I know that things would not get any better if I keep involving too much so I decided to "stay away" for a while (or the so called "hiatus"). Plucked my courage and got determined enough to do so despite there were still the tinge of the urge I got during my hiatus.

I remember the 13th day - the next day after my last day of hiatus,
I got all excited to upload my new posts and turned out my posts became so fresh and brand new. What I mean here is sometimes when I don't get the space between posts, I tend to reminisce, do the throwbacks a lot and sometimes the unneccessary uploads.

I learnt that some things in our life, especially our private life just should not get to be exposed. What private should have remained private and what is not, can be contemplated to get known publicly.

The 12 days have also helped me to restrain myself from exposing my life too much and to differentiate between the need to post and the non-essentials. This helps me living a simpler life anyhow.

So let's challenge yourself to make interval between posts and try to feel it yourself. It changes your life for good and I'm not even kidding. Have a good day ahead! x)

till we meet again, xoxo
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My undergraduate programme: I expected UTEM

Peace be upon you!

Hi peeps, it's been a while :)

Oh, anyway, I just finished my 1-year-programme under matriculation college around April 2018 and that was one of the hardest part I had to let go. But after it all, I still had to so yes I did. I did let it go. Please be informed this is not me being overly dramatic whatsoever, I'm just easily cling to a good memory or a good person but these days, I just don't let myself cling onto these little things too much. It won't do me good.

My cgpa/pointer was a so-so, there's nothing to brag about.

I applied the same course which was IT-related for 12 different universities while I was still being skeptical towards myself; like am I sure gonna pursue this or not. One of the reasons I took matriculation college as well. Cause I didn't sure if Chemical Engineering suit me or not at that time (I got that course for my diploma programme).

So this was my 2nd option:
2. Computer Science USM

So after putting everything into thinking, I changed my top 3 option in UPU (the same thing as UCAS etc), I did wanna do Computer Engineering in UTEM or in UNIMAP. Because heck, I think I really love physics and that was like the only IT-related course that has something to do with physics (ikr AI has physics too but it's different hehe) SO WHY NOT RIGHT?

This was the top 3 options that I thought I have changed:
1. Computer Engineering UTEM
2. Computer Engineering UNIMAP
3. Pure Physics USM

(Of course with a high hope i'll get in the top 2 because I did never imagine myself getting into USM at all, it seemmed so impossible for me because I doubted my cgpa a lot)

And the day of the UPU result leaked out, this was what I saw:

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My 3rd job so far

There, a place where I need a fearless me to climb every height no matter how high,
And a little patience to add on on coping with every person showing up no matter who.

Indeed, God answers our prayers in so many different ways, most of the time, unpredictable and unprecedented. This is probably one of them. I prayed for help me getting out from my anxiety.

Now that I can socialize a lot much better even though I ain't still good at giving nice first impression. Well, at least, people say they cherish my presence after being around me for a few times. But the core is, my social skill improves a lot now. Thank God. I hope I can do more than just this. Inshaallah amin.

Keep praying :)
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Barbecue party by the beach with classmates! :)

Hi there! 

I just wanna make a confession; that I feel like the job as "secretary" kinda suits me. Cause....

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Chinese songs in my playlist

Hi everyone!

So these recent past few days, I've began my journey to practically involve myself with some mandarin/chinese environment despite the fact that I haven't found myself a close chinese friend in my college yet. I mean I've got a few chinese colleagues but we aren't just that close enough to get myself learning mandarin from them. Hence, I am currently learning it all by myself.

Frankly speaking, learning mandarin as an add up for a bilingual person like me so that I can level up to a trilingual; considering a lot of benefits that I can have in the future, it has been so long ago in my bucketlist but only now that I can see I am taking it serious.

For now, I am only keeping myself to constantly listen to two chinese songs in my playlist which I consider them as the songs for a beginner like me.

All I do is trying to listen carefully so that I'd know how do I pronoun certain pinyin(s) and I try to memorize the basic stuffs we got in every language as in the noun for persons such as wo(I), ni(you), wo men(us), ta men(they) and more. However I still find myself having trouble with the tone on every pinyin. If you have any idea how to improve on this, please do tell me!

Not to forget that I also use an app to keep myself improving day by day, not just simply heedlessly learning through songs on my own. Cause for me, we always need someone to guide us. And as for that, I use lingodeer which is for me quite fun and simple to add to my routine.

That is that my progress by far. Anyways, the point of sharing this on my blog is to ensure that I got to keep something in my routine as for a reminder or more like a boost-tool for me to get going. Idk I think this is the best idea to keep myself consistent on it. :)

Oh oh, before I forget to share the two songs with you, here are they:

  1. You exist in my song
  2. Wo hen wo ai ni
I love the melodies/rythm in this songs that they have their own signature to bring that tinge of feeling inside me. You're welcomed to give them a try too! Why not aite? 

And if you have tips/tricks in learning mandarin, do leave them in the comment section cause Im really looking up for some! Hehe. Till we meet again.
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